Hope Strikes Again

I have been hooked by Maggie Hope. This is the third book in the series, and I think they just keep getting better. There needs to be a suspension of belief for all the coincidences that place Maggie in an ideal position to serve in the British intelligence, and, that she has the particular (and unusual) set of skills to make her useful. She is moving up the hierarchy in her spy craft, and this time she is sent into Germany on a quick delivery of radio tubes and the planting of a receiver device for eavesdropping, but ends up staying longer than originally planned, putting her life and her "handler's" life in jeopardy. And the on-going intrigue with her parents just keeps getting more and more complicated.
If you like period stories (WWII), intrigue, strong women and danger, this is the book for you. Publishing date in May 21, but can be pre-ordered now.

An Equal Opportunity Death Review

This is the first book in the Vejay Haskell series. Years ago I read several books in the Julie Smith series and thoroughly enjoyed them.

This book starts with an introduction to the main character and the town in which she lives. I felt that Ms Dunlap did a skilled job of blending the needed background information into the telling of the story. Then gradually all the characters are introduced. And the town is laid out. All very skillfully.

Vejay is an interesting woman: an escapee of the San Francisco pace and pressures. She is now a meter reader for the utility company. She is strong, fit, and attractive.

The plot was well crafted. It took many twists and turns, keeping me interested and engaged. I did not foresee the ending until almost the end of the book.  I have a mental formula for evaluating the books I read, from pedestrian/formulaic to intriguing/edge of the seat. An Equal Opportunity Death sneaks up on you; very placid initially, picking up momentum as it goes, much like the ever rising Russian River in the story.

I enjoyed the book and will read others in the series, but there is a BUT… I found Vejay a bit annoying at times. For someone so accomplished and self-reliant, she could be incredibly immature (her opening argument with Frank, the character who is murdered), and ignorant (taking dangerous risks on her own). What is it about smart women that cause them to think they know better than the police in a case? I know, there wouldn’t be a story without Vejay going off on her own. But I know there are other authors who keep suspense alive without the main character acting as ignorantly as Vejay does. (China Bayles, Maisie Dobbs, Maxie of Maxie and Stretch, to name a few) I found myself annoyed with her immaturity or know-it-all attitude to completely immerse myself in the book.

I class this book in the “fun but not profound” category. If you enjoy mysteries and location-linked stories, this one is for you.

To Dream or Not to Dream

About a week ago, I woke up with a strong sense that my next life project was to open a bookstore here in the artsy community in southern Arizona where I live part-time (for now!). I have been praying for over a year for clarity about what I am to do with my life once we move here full-time. I went back to school at age 30, after my two children were born, and then I worked as a therapist/counselor/group home director for the next 28 years. Two years ago, I "retired". I was burned out physically and emotionally. (another long story for another day).

All that is to say that I was a bit dumbfounded when the idea of a bookstore came to mind. I love books. I read everyday as much as I possibly can. When I am near the end of a book, I lose sleep finishing it before I close my eyes. I become wrapped up in the lives of the characters, and I often become the protagonist in my mind.

My love of books came from my mother. She was an English teacher by training and vocation (in her later years), and our home was covered in books and magazines. There was a floor-to-ceiling corner bookcase in our dining room filled with books, and there was a half-size book case in the corner of our living room filled with paperback books, magazines and our beloved World Book Encyclopedia. 

When my husband and I had our first child, my mother always bought books for him. And as he grew older, she would read to him. She bought beautiful illustrated books on the animal and insect kingdoms, story books about whatever topic was occupying his attention at the time.

I began taking our son to the library from the time he was born. In those early years, I was the one checking out books, but as he grew older, he began to attend story hour and choose several books to take home. As soon as he was able to print his name, he was able to get his own library card. it was a celebrated day in our home.

In the early years of our marriage, Ted and I could not afford to but books, but as his status in the work place increased, I began to frequent used bookstores and library sales in order to buy books of my own. From the time I went back to school, Ted and I have each had our own study in our home. Mine began to fill with bookcases and books. Ted had 1 bookcase for every three of mine.

As the kids grew older, Ted and I began to travel more, buying a time-share vacation home, and escaping to the sunshine and warmth of Mexico each year. We would take 1/2 a suitcase filled with books for our vacation reading. It became really problematic when we traveled to Europe and our suitcase weight was always too high. I was ecstatic when e-readers became available. For the last 8 years, we traveled with so much less luggage!

So the idea of a bookstore has deep roots in my psyche', but I have never actually considered it before. It seems a strange answer to my prayers about how I can minister and best serve the Lord at this time in my life.

But when I think of a bookstore, I think of cozy reading corners, a group room where book clubs can meet, a literary community center. I can also bring in books to sell that encourage people to think about their purpose in life, how to take better care of themselves, physically, spiritually and emotionally. I can have books that are FUN in order to bring more laughter into the world, and, of course, books for young readers and young adults that can fuel their desire to learn and grow!

So, I am beginning a journey to educate myself on what it would take to open and run a bookstore. I have no idea if this will actually happen, but I feel confident that for now, this is what I need to do. 

Joseph Campbell coined the phrase, "Follow your bliss", and lately I have heard so many people say that you need to occupy your life with work that you love. I loved being a counselor. For the last year, i have tried to image what type of counseling setting I should pursue here in AZ. Nothing grabbed my attention. But the idea of this bookstore has ignited my heart and mind, filled me with energy and excitement for the first time in a long time. May-be as I educate myself on becoming a bookstore owner, God will take me off in a tangential direction. I am open to being led and educated by the One who controls the universe.

Health Journey Part II

With my Grandson - Jan 2013

It is now two months after starting my journey to better health. 

I joined the Susan G Koman 3-Day for the Cure in order to give myself a concrete goal for walking. I was only able to 0.25 miles at a time back in Jan. Yesterday, I walked 3 miles. I admit that I had a break in the middle for lunch, but still, 3 miles!

Also, I have lost 19 pounds! WooHoo! I am using meals and supplements that keep my blood sugar even, and help me to build muscle and my metabolism while losing fat. It is a win-win, because as my muscle builds so does my metabolism, which helps burn more fat. I have to be faithful to exercise and eating healthy, but I receive concrete rewards for my efforts.

I have to admit that with all my previous attempts and failures, i was actually beginning to think that as an older person, I just couldn't be successful. But I am here to say, age does not matter!

Sharing Our Burdens With God - Lenten Journey

It has been over a month since I last made an entry here. A lot has happened. I was supposed to leave for AZ on Feb 5th, but became very ill and had to postpone my trip until the following Monday. I was still weak and rested most of the first week in AZ.

Then Ted, my husband, and his sister and brother-in-law arrived for a week long visit. Elisa and Randy participated in the Old Lost Dutchman Mine marathon in Apache Junction, AZ, near Phoenix. We had a beautiful weekend there and all traveled back to Tubac, only to be met by cold and periods of rain and some snow. 
I had a few days to clean up and prepare for a friend who came for a week's visit, and is leaving later today. So I have had little time to write.

So where do I begin? The most emotion-filled moment in this past month occured on Ash Wednesday. I attended a women's Bible study from church, and as part of our opening worship, was asked to read a passage from the Presbyterian Women's "Minute for Missions" devotional book.

Wednesday, February 13
Minute for Mission: Ash Wednesday

Our pastor passed out small pieces of paper and pencils as we gathered around a table at the front of the sanctuary. On the table were a large bowl, a small container of ashes, and a flask of oil. We sang and prayed in the candlelight, calling the Holy Spirit into our midst. Then our pastor asked us to consider what burdens we had come into God’s presence carrying. What burdens of anger, pain, or disappointment might be keeping us from being able to follow in Christ’s footsteps? He asked us to write these burdens on our pieces of paper and to pray over them.The burden that came to my mind was my inability to forgive a friend who had hurt me. I knew that the grudge I was holding was keeping me from fullness of life in Christ. I prayed that God would forgive me for my hard-heartedness and allow me to release my hurt and anger. I had to free myself from the desire to judge my friend and allow God to show mercy to us both. As I prayed, I realized that this would be my Lenten journey: to learn to empty out my tendency to judge and allow my heart to be filled with compassion.The pastor lit a small flame by the bowl and invited us to burn our papers in the flame and drop them into the bowl. As each one of us allowed the flames to consume our burdens, they fell together into the bottom of the bowl. Silently our pastor mixed these ashes with the palm ashes from the container and oil from the flask. As we received the ashes on our foreheads, I was keenly aware that in this mark of Christ each of us was carrying a small part of each other’s burdens. No longer separated from Christ by them, and united in Christ with each other, we began our Lenten journey.—Cynthia Reggio, M.Div., Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York, 2012

I am generally not one who becomes easily tearful, but I had difficulty finishing reading this entry. I was touched by simple ritual that gave a concrete expression to deep feelings of guilt and shame and a way to redeem the feelings by giving them to God.

But there was clearly something much deeper being touched in me personally.

After three weeks of reflection, I have thought about two memories. The first one has to do with the burden Cynthia Reggio, the author, shared. In the late 70's, my husband and I were part of a house church. The group was very different in background and life experience than Ted and I, and there were frequently times when I felt overwhelmed. I knew that God had led us to this group, and I knew that there was much that God wanted to teach us, but sometimes I wondered if I would survive emotionally.

On one level, I deeply loved each person in the fellowship. They were all very giving, caring people. They worked to share God's Gospel with our immediate community, with our city and with the world.

But there were personality clashes of immense magnitude as well. My frustration and anger were often piqued, and I often felt deeply hurt. Much of this frustration was focused on one particular woman. I didn't know how to interact with her without getting angry, and yet we were working together on a ministry that I felt called to contribute. So many times I prayed for the ability to forgive and let go of the hurt I felt. I spent a lot of time praying that God would change the other woman, but of course, little happened until I started praying that God would change me. Thirty-five years later, I can still remember the deep hurt, the sense of abandonment by God, and then the miraculous healing I experienced once I started asking God to change and heal me.

The other memory evoked by this reflection occurred in the early 90's when I was working at a women's residential addictions recovery program. We actually did a similar exercise. I couldn't structure it as a religious exercise, but I invited the women to write on a slip of paper the one thing for which they felt most guilty about their addiction. We then went outside, and I took an iron skillet from the kitchen and invited each woman to give her burden to her Higher Power, and burn the paper to symbolize that it had been lifted from them.

It was an incredibly sacred moment as each woman burned her piece of paper in the skillet. A few shared what they had written, but most did not. I encouraged them to write about how they felt participating in this ceremony. The next day several women brought their journals and shared what they had written. Many women shared feeling "clean" and "purged from sin" and "forgiven". It was a major turning oint for several women in their road to recovery.

So I ask you, when has God met you in a difficult time and led you to healing and renewal. Lent is an excellent time to reflect on these moments of rebirth that God scatters throughout our lives.

One Billion Rising

Recently, a friend posted on FaceBook about an event planned for Feb 14: A Billion Women Rising event. It is in support of women around the world to help end abuse and exploitation against women. The article by Joan Chittister that talks about this event is: One Billion Women Rising

I hope you will read the article, and consider getting involved. With all the negative actions in this country toward women, especially during this past election, it is important that people stand up and say that respecting women is a priority!

Look at the movement site and decide what you can do to support bringing justice and respect to women everywhere: One Billion Rising

I haven't danced in years, but I am going to get down and dance on Feb 14. I will be attending the Tucson, AZ events all day long. I invite all of you, women who want to speak out, and, men who want to support them, to find an event near you and join. You can also plan an event if there isn't one near you. 
I hope you will become involved. 

Many years ago, I participated in a "Take Back the Night" event in Philadelphia. It was a movement to speak out against the attacks on women who were just trying to go about their life. Attacks and rapes were happening at an alarming rate: on the subway, in downtown, along neighborhood streets. It was so empowering for 10, 000 women to go down into the subway system in Center City Philly, walk the corridors and platforms. No one dared to bother all of us. There was incredible strength in numbers. Out of that movement, subway platforms were upgraded with better lighting, increased transit police presence, and emergency phones were installed. 
Take Back the Night History

In an atmosphere in our country where it feels as if some people are trying to erase women's rights, it is important to stand up and be counted. Don't just "Like"! Get involved. And blessings to each of you who do.

Before I Was Formed, God Knew

Today's meditation in Disciplines is JEREMIAH 1:4-10, where God tells Jerimiah, 

“Before I shaped you in the womb,
    I knew all about you.
Before you saw the light of day,
    I had holy plans for you:
A prophet to the nations—    that’s what I had in mind for you.” 

This scripture brought back strong memories I have of God being present with me when I was a very small child, some of which I was still in my crib. I have since come to realize that few people have these types of memories, at least in our culture. Historically Gaelic cultures acknowledge these types of "God awareness" memories in small child, and the "thin places" between this world and seeing God face to face. 

I certainly went through some periods of anger with God (when my father died), and some periods of questioning God's existence (especially during pretty severe postpartum depression after my second child was born). But for the most part, I sought God's Presence throughout my life.

I have always found it comforting when I come across scriptures that remind me that God has known me even before I was born. I am comforted my hearing that God has given me gifts and ministries before I was even born. My frustration has been that God doesn't always easily reveal WHAT I am being called to do and WHERE I am supposed to do it.

Two years ago i retired from my work here in PA, in preparation for moving to AZ, and, because I was burning out physically and emotionally at my job. After two years of preparing our PA home for sale, and setting up our AZ home, I feel more ready to become involved in ministry again. I don't know if God will give me a new job, or have me do volunteer work, but I want to get more involved again. ANd I feel this desire is being stirred in my heart by God.

I do not know what my future holds, but I know that I am in God's hands. I am in a waiting and watching stance, one of my least favorite. I want to "know" what my future holds. But in not knowing the details, I am forced to watch intently for God's movement in my life. I am open and looking. I am paying attention to ways God is piercing through the thin places in my life. And I am grateful that I do not have to figure these things out by myself.